Has The 'Rapture' Come And Gone?

For what it's worth, I'm still here. Kinda figured that would happen though. Sounds like others are very perplexed and quite alarmed. The Swift Report (03.29.05):

"What if the 'Rapture' happened but you were left behind? That's what millions of Christians are wondering amid mounting evidence that the Rapture, the much-anticipated event in which God summons his faithful to the heavens, may have happened earlier this month. David Dumé, originally of Spring Hill, KS, appears to be among the lucky few who are currently enjoying the company of the world's most famous father. Mr. Dumé, who had recently returned to Kansas from Hollywood, where he enjoyed a short but lucrative career in adult-themed films, was expected to attend a potluck supper and informal prayer session at the Spring Hill Baptist Church—but disappeared from site just minutes after reaching the building." News that the 'Rapture' Has Come and Gone Alarms Many Christians

"Stunned onlookers say that they watched aghast as Mr. Dumé 'flew up through the ceiling,' leaving a pile of clothing, gold jewelry, an outsized diamond-covered crucifix, and several piercings and chains behind. Experts say that the fact that Mr. Dumé and others cast off such earthly accoutrements is another sure sign that they were indeed raptured." I can smell Mr. Dumé's cologne from here. Pastor Roy DeLong, long-time contributor to the Swift Report, and "who is also an active supporter of conservative political causes including a constitutional ban on gay marriage and private Social Security accounts, says that he is personally shocked that Mr. Dumé was chosen to make the trip, while he and so many other more faithful believers remain behind. 'He was not even a regular presence around here, that's what's so startling. I don't want to say that mistakes were made, but you really have to wonder about the selection process here....'" They say the Lord works in mysterious ways, Pastor.